DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife has sworn off sex until she loses weight, but I come home every day to her stuffing her face.
She always says that she’ll start properly tomorrow, but after months, I’m starting to question if we’ll ever be intimate again.
I’m female and 46, my wife is 45, and we’ve been married for 12 years.
Over the last few years, my wife has struggled with her health and, as a result, has gained a fair bit of weight.
While to me she still looks amazing, she’s become very self-conscious.
So much so that our sex life has taken a huge hit. We’ve gone from being intimate at least one to two times a week to barely doing it at all.
On the rare occasions that we are intimate, she insists that we turn the lights off.
Now she’s told me she doesn’t want to have sex at all until she’s lost all the weight.
Yet, it’s been months, and she’s made no effort to change anything in her diet or lifestyle.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Struggling with body dissatisfaction can be really difficult, so it’s understandable that your wife has little motivation.
However, she can’t expect you to commit to a sexless life.
Find a moment to tell her how you’re feeling and express that while you understand her struggles, you miss your intimacy.
Perhaps you can start making healthier changes together, like joining the gym or cooking healthy meals. Even the smallest of changes can make a huge difference in your mental health.
If she’s still struggling, my support pack Weight Worries will help.
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