A MUM-OF-THREE has revealed how she is in love with her best friend’s brother – who happens to be her husband’s cousin.
She has been married for 17 years but is now wanting to end it all so she can be with the other man.
A wife is seeking for advice on what to do now she has cheated on her husband[/caption]
The woman, who has decided to remain anonymous, took to online forum Mumsnet to confess about what has been happening.
In a lengthy and well detailed post, she wrote: “I’ve been married for 17 years and have three kids.
“My sister-in-law was my best friend; she’s married to her first cousin, which makes him my husband’s cousin too. Yes, she married a family member.
“Her husband started texting me four years ago.
“I warned him I would tell the family if he didn’t stop, but he claimed he couldn’t because he had always liked me and found it hard to stop.
“I couldn’t block him because his wife is my best friend, and sometimes she would ring me from his phone, or my husband would use my phone to call him.
“We were very close as couples, and our kids are best friends as they have two kids.
“I was afraid to tell my husband or my best friend because it would have turned out badly; my husband can get violent, and it wouldn’t have ended well.
“So, I kept my mouth shut.”
But her curiosity led her to text him back to understand “why he was doing this, which eventually led to longer conversations.”
The mum continues: “He said he had always fancied me and, even though he loved his wife, he still wanted to speak to me and spend time with me (as couples).
“It became an addiction, and before I knew it, we spoke everyday through texting and FaceTime when my husband was at work.
“I felt guilty and scared but addicted at the same time. I didn’t know what to do.
“We fell in love and tried to break it off many times. I would find myself going crazy without him, and so did he.
We became so madly in love that we couldn’t function without each other
Anonymous mum
“His depression and insanity when I tried to leave him led to his wife becoming suspicious because he could no longer hide his feelings for me in front of everyone.
“He was kind, caring, respectful towards me, and always put me first.
“We both became withdrawn from our spouses completely. All we wanted was to spend time together and go out together (as families with our spouses and kids).
“We became so madly in love that we couldn’t function without each other.
Grew close
“We shared mutual respect, laughter, interests, and dreams – something I never experienced with my husband, nor he with his wife.
“His wife grew more suspicious of his actions around me and at home. He wasn’t himself when not around me, and I felt the same.
“Although my husband isn’t a big talker and our relationship lacked communication, he didn’t bring up any suspicions, so I thought he would never find out.
“Our only dream and wish in life was to be together one day when our children grew up, as I don’t plan to abandon my kids for a man.
He took me back the next day, willing to forgive me and rebuild our trust, and the same happened with him
Anonymous mum
“Even though I loved him, I put my kids first.”
His wife started to become even more suspicious that she started spying on him and eventually, four years later, she caught him texting me with a ‘hey’ and a ‘hey’ back.
She continues: “That day changed everyone’s lives.
“My husband and best friend were left devastated. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since.
“I went to my mother’s for the night so my husband could process his feelings.
“He took me back the next day, willing to forgive me and rebuild our trust, and the same happened with him.
Failed marriage
“Now, my marriage of 17 years hasn’t been the happiest. I understand that life can’t always be happy and perfect.
“My husband has always shut me down emotionally, putting his cousins before me in terms of going out to eat or generally hanging out.
“Going out with him often ended in anger and shouting at waitresses, leading to embarrassment.
“He’s not a very social person; we don’t have much in common, and he enjoys getting stoned.
“I could write a list, but long story short, I understand that’s not an excuse to cheat, and nobody deserves to feel second best, but I also never really felt attracted to my husband physically and sexually.
“Many people will say to leave if they are unhappy, but there are three kids involved.
I feel depressed, lost, and confused because my husband has never really been a good husband or a friend to me from the start
Anonymous mum
“It’s been two months since contact with my lover, and I can’t see a future without him in my life.
“I’ve never felt so lost in my entire life, and he feels the same, according to reports from other family members. He said he will wait for me until I’m ready, even until the day he dies.
“Two days ago, I left my husband and came to stay with my mother because I don’t know if I can do this – if I can fix this marriage knowing that I’m in love with another man.
“I can’t see myself sleeping in the same bed as my husband anymore.
“I have two kids with me, and he has one. The kids seem okay for now, but my middle son is the most affected by the breakup, and it’s not fair.
“I just don’t know what to do: go back to my husband and fix my marriage for the sake of the kids, or stay separated for a while and get back with the love of my life?
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
“I have had contact with him a few times during the revelation of the situation, and he said he only went back to his wife because he heard I went back to my husband. He is still willing to wait for me.
“I’m lost on what to do. Obviously, my kids’ feelings come first before mine, but how can I live a lie with my husband?
“We have no connection whatsoever, and I don’t think I can ever get over this and rebuild my marriage with him when it hasn’t really been the same.
“I feel depressed, lost, and confused because my husband has never really been a good husband or a friend to me from the start.
I would sort out finances, place to live, focus on yourself and kids all you seem to be focused on is your best friend and husband
Mumsnet comment
“Things are now worse between us; we have completely stopped communicating and only snap at each other. I feel like I can never be myself around him anymore.”
The post gained a lot of attention with many rushing to the comments section to share their thoughts.
One wrote: “Life’s to short not to love or be loved. Don’t go back to an already failed relationship.”
Another added: “Why did you not leave your husband when you realised that you have feelings for someone else?
“This going back and forth is not good for kids, make a decision, commit and stick to it.
“I would sort out finances, place to live, focus on yourself and kids all you seem to be focused on is your best friend and husband.”
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