DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend’s holiday fling is coming to the UK soon and I’m paranoid she’ll meet up with him for sex.
She’s assured me she has no interest in seeing him again but I’m finding it hard to believe her.
I’m 30 and she’s 27. We’ve been together for two years.
She’s always been very honest and open about her sexual past. I know she had four boyfriends before me, plus a holiday romance in Italy, when she was on her gap year.
They’re still in touch on social media, although they never message each other directly – I’ve checked.
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Last month, he posted that he’s visiting the UK for a few months for work.
She told me their relationship is in the past and she isn’t remotely attracted to him anymore. She has no plans to see him.
But I’ve seen the photos and he is extremely handsome – which doesn’t exactly help me feel less insecure.
She says she’s committed to me and is upset that I don’t believe her.
What can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend is right to be upset.
She’s been open and honest, yet you still don’t trust her. And, it appears you’ve been spying on her social media and messaging apps.
Everyone has a past. The problem here isn’t her ex but your jealousy.
You need to overcome it or it will destroy your relationship.
My support pack, Coping With Jealousy, should help.
Think about counselling to help you get to the root of your problem, which might lie in past experiences.
