DEAR DEIDRE: OVER the last few months, my husband has been completely disinterested in sex, but just last week I caught him watching porn in bed next to me.
Now I can’t help but think he’s gone off of me, and it’s making me feel so low.
I’m 39, my husband is 42, and we’ve been married for just over ten years. We share two kids together.
This is the first major issue we’ve had in our relationship.
I’d tried my best to be understanding with him, as I know sex drives fluctuate as you age, and I assumed he’d come around eventually.
However, I was gobsmacked when I woke up in the middle of the night to see him pleasuring himself while he watched a raunchy porn video.
The girl in it was everything I’m not – young, blonde and skinny.
He’s tried to apologise and make excuses, but I’m not sure how to get over this.
I feel so unworthy.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Deidre says: It sounds like your husband’s porn habit is the route of your issues.
Watching a little adult content is not necessarily an issue, but since he’s gone off sex altogether, it’s likely there’s a link.
Porn addiction can damage real life sexual relationships because the user can become overly reliant on their own touch to the point that arousal is difficult to achieve with a partner.
It would help to talk to a sex and relationship therapist. COSRT (cosrt.org.uk) can connect you with a reputable practitioner.
My support pack Pornography Worries will help too.
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