DEAR DEIDRE: STUPIDLY, I had sex with a stranger on holiday and now he’s blackmailing me.
I’m desperate to put this sorry episode behind me, but now I’m terrified that if I don’t keep entertaining him, my husband will find out.
I’m a 32-year-old married woman, and I’ve been happily married to my husband for seven years.
I went on a bachelorette holiday to Spain with a group of my girlfriends a couple months ago.
One night we were out at a local bar when a group of Spanish men approached us.
They seemed like good fun and kept buying us drinks. One of them obviously fancied me, but I tried my best to keep my distance. I would guess he was around 40.
A couple of days later, we bumped into them again in a nightclub.
Home felt so far away and after a few too many drinks, I gave in to temptation. We went back to his place and shared a passionate night together.
The next day I woke up completely mortified.
Then, when I got home, I got a Facebook friend request from him.
Before I could respond to the request, he messaged me, suggesting we have online sex.
I tried to let him down gently and explained I couldn’t stay in touch.
His nasty response was that I should do what he wanted, or my husband would find out the truth.
Now I’m in a major panic.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It goes without saying that cheating is wrong, but you can’t change what’s done.
Don’t give into this blackmail or do anything against your will – that would only worsen this situation.
The leverage this man has is that you cheated, so if you believe he will contact your husband, it would be better for you to come clean first.
When things are out in the open, at least you can work on repairing your marriage. My support pack Relationship MOT will help.
The alternative is to block this man on all your social media and hope he drops his threat. But will you be able to move on and put it out of your mind?
Whatever you decide, it would be good if you can face up to your mistakes and work on making better decisions in the future.
Blackmail is also a criminal offence, so consider reporting what happened to the police if only so they can tip off their colleagues in Spain.
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