BBC broadcaster Clara Amfo has revealed she was sexually abused from the age of five years old.
The popular star, 40, said a family friend “groomed” her in a trauma which “changed me forever.”
Clara spoke out about her abuse as a child on Annie MacManus’s podcast[/caption]
Clara said she was targeted and groomed from the age of five[/caption]
She said the abuse only stopped when one of her brothers saw the man abusing her and raised the alarm.
Clara bravely spoke about her ordeal during an interview on the Changes with Annie MacManus podcast, which was released this morning.
She said: “I’m a survivor, I’m a victim – however you want to look at it – of childhood sexual abuse.
“I was sexually abused by a friend of our family. And it went on for quite a while between the ages of like, I think I was five, coming up to six years old.
“And it stopped because one of my brothers found out.
“But it was, it was life changing. Anyone who has been through any kind of abuse in their life, particularly sexual abuse, it changes the way you view the world.
“Because from five years old, I knew that the world wasn’t a safe place.
“Issues of trust, self-worth, you know, just ruptured, really. And the innocence just dies in you. You can never get it back.
“And I mourn that for my childhood self, you know?”
Clara, who spent ten years as a DJ on Radio 1 and now fronts a raft of culture programming for the BBC, said it took her years to even comprehend what had happened to her.
She continued: “Essentially, like, I was groomed, you know, and so as a little kid, you think, ‘Well, this is normal’.”
“But I’ll say this, like, my brother found out in the most literal way he could, which was unfortunate for both of us, put it that way.
“And that’s how it ended, basically. And the change there was that that’s when I really realised, ‘Oh, hang on a minute, all this was wrong. I’m not safe with this person’.
“Because the shame that comes from seeing someone be horrified at the sight of something… I was like, ‘OK, this is really bad’. And I internalised all of that.
“It’s been a lifetime trying to undo that and just navigate that in my life, in my personal life, in my professional life.”
Clara said the mental stress reached a climax when she was a late teenager and she sought secret therapy to try and cope with it after developing depression.
Sexual abuse in numbers
669,000 adults are sexually assaulted in England and Wales every year
- 1 in 5 women (8m) in the UK have been sexually abused
- 1 in 6 men (5m) in the UK have been sexually abused
- 1 in 20 children in the UK have been sexually abused
Sexual abuse has been attributed to:
- 15% of all suicides in the UK
- 11% of all common mental health disorders in the UK
- 7% of alcohol dependence disorders
- 10% of drug dependence disorders
- 15% of eating disorders
- 17% of post-traumatic stress disorders
(Source: Safeline)
She explained: “I basically had a nervous breakdown when I was 18 or 19, because the enormity of what had happened to me really hit around that age.
“Around 18 or 19, I was like, ‘Oh f***. What I went through was really bad’.”
“I’d have anxiety attacks. Like five, six, seven, eight, up to like 18 years old, like when I was still living with my parents.
“I basically had to put myself in therapy in secret because I was just so depressed. I was so depressed and so anxious and so terribly sad and just horrified. I was just horrified.”
Her brother told her mum about the abuse, but Clara said she denied it when confronted by her mother, because she was “full of shame.”
She said: “My brother had told her. And then one time, she asked me and I denied it.
“She asked me very direct, like, ‘Did this happen?’ She kind of said it like that. And I was so full of shame.”
The star heartbreakingly admitted she was “full of shame” over what happened[/caption]
Despite later coming forward, Clara was encouraged not to prosecute her attacker[/caption]
But in a cruel twist, she has never been able to bring her abuser to justice after cops urged her not to try and take her case to court.
Clara explained: “With my situation, I was going to go legal, and I’d gone to like Operation Sapphire, who was sort of like the Met Police.
“And they were incredible. All like my on-site care team were amazing. But then essentially, I got this really cold, very clinical phone call from this male senior guy.
“He said, ‘Look, I’ve seen your statements, blah blah blah’. He said, ‘But put it this way, it’s going to be your word against his’.
“I was going to go after my abuser, because he was still living in the UK at the time.
NSPCC signs of grooming
- Being very secretive about how they’re spending their time, including when online
- Having an older boyfriend or girlfriend
- Having money or new things like clothes and mobile phones that they can’t or won’t explain
- Underage drinking or drug taking
- Spending more or less time online or on their devices
- Being upset, withdrawn or distressed
- Sexualised behaviour, language or an understanding of sex that’s not appropriate for their age
- Spending more time away from home or going missing for periods of time.
“He was like, ‘It’s going to be your word against his. They’re going to cross examine you, they’re going to do this. Do you really want to do this?’ And he basically kind of talked me out of it.
“And if that has happened now, I’d be like, ‘F**k off’. But at the time, I was 19 years old.
“But I still, I still give myself thanks for who I was then, because I’m like, f**king hell, Clara, that was actually amazing.”
Clara said she decided to speak out on the abuse she faced because she always felt like she had a “secret” that her fans didn’t know.
She added: “For me to show up as myself and do my job properly, whether that is being an interviewer, I need to feel that I’m coming through as like my 100% self.
“And there was always that bit, and having this secret, for want of a better phrase, has always troubled me because I’ve always felt like it hasn’t allowed me to turn up as who I 100% am. And I am a survivor.
“I feel very, I feel strong. I feel very in control of who I am now. I think it’s a confidence thing as well.”
How to report a sexual assault
- Contact a doctor or practice nurse at your GP surgery.
- Contact a voluntary organisation, such as Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, Victim Support, The Survivors Trust or Male Survivors Partnership.
- Call the 24-hour freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247.
- Speak to the rape and sexual abuse support line run by Rape Crisis England and Wales – you can call the helpline on 0808 500 2222 or use the online chat (both are free and are open 24 hours a day, every day of the year).
Clara is one of Radio One’s most beloved faces[/caption]
Clara credits her brothers finding out for making it stop[/caption]
Clara is now one of the top BBC stars thanks to her stints on Radio One and TV[/caption]
