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Menendez brothers’ love lives inside prison from marrying pen pal wife on sentencing day to cheating scandal and divorce
BOTH of the Menendez brothers have been married from prison while serving life sentences for shooting their parents to death in the wealthy family’s Beverly Hills mansion in 1989.
The wives of Erik and Lyle Menendez started their relationships with the convicted killers by reaching out to them via letters to the California jails where the brothers were held after their infamous murder trials.
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Erik and Lyle, respectively 18 and 21 at the time, unleashed gunfire on their parents, Kitty and Jose Menendez, at point-blank range in their home on August 20, 1989.
During their trials for the killings, the brothers claimed the shootings were in self-defense following years of abuse, while prosecutors believed the siblings were motivated by greed for their parents’ wealth.
The brothers’ trials were televised on CourtTV, bringing national attention to the murders and sparking admirers of the good-looking duo to write letters of encouragement to the pair during the case.
After the highly publicized trials, both of the brothers were found guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison – but it didn’t stop their love lives from taking off.
Lyle was the first of the pair to have a relationship from prison after Anna Eriksson, a model, wrote to him during the first trial, which ended in a mistrial.
Eriksson, a former salon receptionist, saw Lyle on TV in 1993 and decided to write him a letter telling him to “hang tough,” she told People in 1996.
“I was watching the lawyers thanking people for all these letters of support Erik got. I thought to myself, ‘What about Lyle?’” Eriksson said.
Lyle responded, thanking her for her support, and the correspondence continued. The relationship became serious enough that Eriksson left her home in Colorado and moved to Los Angeles to be closer to Lyle in 1994.
The pair married over the phone on July 2, 1996 – the day that the brothers were sentenced to life in prison. The remote wedding was witnessed by Erik’s attorney Leslie Abramson and the brothers’ aunt.
The wedding was later disputed as Lyle’s jailers said the marriage wasn’t valid because it happened over the phone.
“We did not recognize the wedding,” California Department of Corrections spokesperson Christine May said in 1997, according to the Los Angeles Times.
“Our determination was that it was not a legal marriage,” she said.
The former lovebirds were originally meant to be married the day before the sentencing, but the judge prohibited a ceremony at the last minute – leaving Eriksson alone in the courthouse in her wedding dress.
PRISON DIVORCE
Eriksson and Lyle remained married for five years until a cheating scandal separated the two.
Timeline of the Menendez brothers case
Erik and Lyle Menendez are serving life sentences in prison after being found guilty of shooting their parents to death over 30 years ago.
August 20, 1989 – José and Kitty Menendez are shot to death
March 8, 1990 – Lyle is arrested for the murders
March 11, 1990 – Erik turns himself in
July 20, 1993 – Highly publicized trial begins and ends weeks later in a mistrial
October 11, 1995 – Second trial begins
March 20, 1996 – Menendez brothers are convicted of two counts of first-degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder
July 2, 1996 – Menendez brothers are sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole and sent to separate prisons
February 2018 – Lyle is transferred to the San Diego prison where Erik is held
April 4, 2018 – Erik and Lyle are reunited
May 2023 – Attorney representing the Menendez brothers files a habeas petition
September 19, 2024 – Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story comes out on Netflix
In 2001, Eriksson filed for divorce, claiming that Lyle was unfaithful to her because he exchanged letters with other women. She’s stayed out of the public eye since the divorce.
Lyle went on to start another relationship with another pen pal named Rebecca Sneed, a former magazine editor.
The Associated Press reported the pair knew each other for about 10 years before they tied the knot – meaning their relationship coincided with Lyle’s marriage to Eriksson.
Lyle and Sneed married at Mule Creek State Prison in Ione, California, in November 2003 and have stayed together since.
I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy.”
Lyle Menendez
After the marriage, Sneed became a defense attorney and moved to Sacramento. As of 2017, the pair enjoyed weekly visits at Mule Creek.
Lyle told People that their marriage is based on constant communication.
“Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life’s events,” Lyle said in 2017.
“We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy.
“It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”
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After the Menendez brothers lived in separate prisons for 20 years, the two were reunited when Lyle moved to the RJ Donovan Correctional Facility in San Diego, where Erik lives, in 2018.
It’s unclear if Sneed still lives in Sacramento, which is about a nine-hour drive from where Lyle is now held.
While Lyle has been married twice in prison, Erik has been committed to the same woman who became his pen pal at the beginning of the trials in 1993.
Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life.”
Erik Menendez
Tammi Saccoman, a mom to two daughters, originally wrote to Erik with the permission of her husband at the time.
DIVINE CORRESPONDENCE
Erik told People in 2005 that fate led him to open the first letter from his future wife during the trial.
“I saw Tammi’s letter and I felt something. I received thousands of letters, but I set this one aside. I got a feeling,” Erik said.
“And I wrote her back. Tammi and I continued to correspond. I enjoyed writing to her. It was a slow friendship.
“It was special to me because it was not associated with the trial and the media. Tammi was someone not in the craziness.”
When Saccoman’s husband died in 1996, she turned to Erik for comfort – and the pair’s relationship turned romantic.
The two met in person at the Folsom State Prison in August 1997, which Erik later said was the “most beautiful experience of [his] life.”
‘LIFE-SAVER’ LOVE
Erik and Saccoman got married at the Sacramento state prison on June 12, 1999, with a Twinkie serving as their wedding cake. Erik became a stepdad to Saccoman’s young daughter, Talia.
The convicted killer previously said that Saccoman’s relationship is a “life-saver.”
“Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life,” Erik told People in 2005.
“Having someone who loves you unconditionally, who you can be completely open with, is good for anybody – to know that this person loves me as I am.”
In an interview with NBC News in 2005, Saccoman said she believed her killer husband to be redeemable.
“I know his soul, and I do know what happened that night,” she said.
“And I do understand. I believe that within everybody put in certain circumstances, you will, you know, be able to kill somebody. I mean, I do believe that Erik is a very good person.”
NO CONJUGAL VISITS
While both of the brothers are married, neither of them have consummated their marriage due to a California law prohibiting inmates serving life sentences from having conjugal visits.
Saccoman previously said that the marriage doesn’t need sex to thrive.
“Not having sex in my life is difficult, but it’s not a problem for me,” Erik’s wife said.
“I have to be physically detached, and I’m emotionally attached to Erik.”
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Lyle echoed the same sentiment in an interview with ABC News in 2017.
“One thing I’ve learned is that your physical comfort is much less important than your connection with the people around you,” he told the outlet at the time.
“I’ve found I can have a healthy marriage that is complicated and built around conversation and finding creative ways to communicate, sharing, without all the props that are normally there in marriage in terms of going out to dinner and having as much intimate time together and so on.”
NETFLIX DRAMA
The Menendez brothers’ case is explored in Ryan Murphy’s new Netflix drama Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story.
Saccoman, who often relays messages from her husband to the public on her social media accounts, shared that Erik disapproved of the new series.
She posted Erik’s response to the show on X on September 19.
“I believed we had moved beyond the lies and ruinous character portrayals of Lyle, creating a caricature of Lyle rooted in horrible and blatant lies rampant in the show,” the statement began.
Erik Menendez's full statement
Erik Menendez shared his response to Ryan Murphy's Netflix series Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story through his wife, who posted Erik's statement on X.
“I believed we had moved beyond the lies and ruinous character portrayals of Lyle, creating a caricature of Lyle rooted in horrible and blatant lies rampant in the show.
“I can only believe they were done so on purpose. It is with a heavy heart that I say, I believe Ryan Murphy cannot be this naive and inaccurate about the facts of our lives so as to do this without bad intent.”
“It is sad for me to know that Netflix’s dishonest portrayal of the tragedies surrounding our crime have taken the painful truths several steps backward — back through time to an era when the prosecution built a narrative on a belief system that males were not sexually abused, and that males experienced rape trauma differently than women.
“Those awful lies have been disrupted and exposed by countless brave victims over the last two decades who have broken through their personal shame and bravely spoken out.
“So now Murphy shapes his horrible narrative through vile and appalling character portrayals of Lyle and of me and disheartening slanger.
“Is the truth not enough? Let the truth stand as the truth. How demoralizing is it to know that one man with power can undermine decades of progress in shedding light on childhood trauma.
“Violence is never an answer, never a solution, and is always tragic. As such, I hope it is never forgotten that violence against a child creates a hundred horrendous and silent crime scenes darkly shadowed behind glitter and glamor and rarely exposed until tragedy penetrates everyone involved.
“To all those who have reached out and supported me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“I can only believe they were done so on purpose. It is with a heavy heart that I say, I believe Ryan Murphy cannot be this naive and inaccurate about the facts of our lives so as to do this without bad intent.”
Murphy responded to Erik’s criticism at a red carpet event on September 23.
“I know he hasn’t watched the show. So I find that curious,” Murphy told E! News at the series premiere of his new show Grotesquerie.
“I hope he does watch it. I think if he did watch it he would be incredibly proud of Cooper Koch who plays him,” he said.
Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story is available for streaming on Netflix now.
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I’ve lost all trust in my wife since got blackout drunk at a birthday party
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE lost all trust in my wife since she got blackout drunk at a friend’s birthday party.
She keeps insisting that nothing happened, but how can she know for sure if she barely remembers it?
I’m 43, she’s 40 and we’ve been married for ten years.
Last week I was away on a business trip when she attended an old work friend’s birthday party.
I knew from the text messages and phone calls that she’d had one too many, but it wasn’t until I saw a photo online of her getting cosy with another man that I realised how drunk she was.
She tried to assure me that it was all innocent and that while he had hit on her, she’d politely turned him down.
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Yet when I asked her if she remembered the whole night, she admitted that she had gaps in her memory. So now I’m struggling to take her at her word.
She’s never given me a reason not to trust her before, but I can’t shake this bad feeling in my gut.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: We all get drunk and do silly things sometimes, but if she’s never shown any interest in cheating and insists nothing happened, you have no reason not to believe her.
The bigger issue here is her safety, rather than fidelity.
If you really care about her, think about how vulnerable she would have been.
Through some clear communication and open conversation I’m sure you can get through this.
I’m sending you my support pack Dealing With Jealousy to help.
Inside the Clooneys’ lavish 10-year marriage…kids’ £90k playhouse, £40m homes & why George gave pals £10m cash in cases
HE was once the world’s most eligible bachelor who bet Nicole Kidman $10,000 he would remain unmarried and childless.
And Amal Alamuddin said she was “quite resigned to the idea that I was going to be a spinster” before she fell for George Clooney.
![a woman wearing a white hat stands next to a man in a suit](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/george-clooney-amal-alamuddin-sighting-916043794.jpg?strip=all&w=640)
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But this genetically-blessed power couple will celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary tomorrow, and they’re bound to do it in style.
Mr and Mrs Clooney have certainly shown that they like to live the high life over the past decade.
Since officially joining forces at their £2million wedding in Venice in September 2014, this power pair have built a bulging property empire worth £40million.
It’s just as well they keep private jets on standby as they like to flit between the Berkshire countryside, a sprawling French chateau, a Manhattan penthouse and their villas in Italy.
Plus there are the adorable seven-year-old twins, an army of nannies, a vintage motorcycle collection, the wine cellar, the designer clothes and watches and a close knit circle of A-list friends to maintain – with royals including Prince Charles included on their Christmas card list.
Clearly the Clooneys prefer the finer things in life so it’s just as well George commands around £20million per movie.
The Money Monster star, 63, and internationally renowned human rights lawyer Amal, 46, tied the knot at what will always be remembered as one the most stylish weddings in showbiz history.
Of course the star-studded black tie affair was held in Venice, the most romantic city in the world.
But they spent the first few weeks of marital bliss holed up near Reading.
In fact they were renovating their new £20million mansion which is technically nestled on its own private island on the River Thames in Berkshire.
A very big house in the country
Their UK base, a nine-bedroom, eight-bathroom manor house near Sonning, has its own 16-seat cinema and spa complex, and separate quarters for the nanny, a tennis court and boathouse for their £10,000 rowing boat.
And the four-acre garden boasts a £90,000 playhouse complete with a zip wire, bathroom, fully functional kitchen – and even a life-sized toy giraffe (Amal’s favourite animal).
They even hired a celebrity interior decorator to kit out the upscale two-storey Wendy house, which is a replica of the Clooney’s home in California.
A home is a place where your family and friends are part of.
George Clooney
The interiors were designed by Michael S Smith, who was called in to make over the White House for Barack Obama when he became US President in 2010.
Needless to say, it has been a huge hit with their seven-year-old twins Ella and Alexander – who entered the world via a £9,600 maternity suite.
Amal chose to welcome their A-list offspring at the sumptuous Kensington Wing of the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital which has been hailed as the ‘Rolls Royce of private maternity care.’
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The Italian Job
George is famously generous with his hospitality – and he once surprised 14 of his closest friends with $1million each to thank them for their support over the years.
The grand gesture came in 2013 when he had just met Amal and earned record profits from the film Gravity, so he filled Tumi suitcases with cash and presented them to pals who had stood by him.
And he let famous friends Emily Blunt and John Krasinski use his property on the shores of Lake Como in Italy as their wedding venue in 2010.
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The Clooneys also have not one but four houses there, which is certainly an effective way of keeping nosy neighbours at bay.
The Ocean’s 11 star snapped up the first one in his growing collection, Villa Oleandra, for £7million back in 2001, and the family spends so much time there that the kids already speak fluent Italian.
Now worth an estimated £75million, George bought the impressive 25-room 18th-century house, which has an outdoor theatre, from the Heinz family – and uses it to house his valuable collection of vintage motorcycles.
What happened at the Clooney wedding?
HEARTS across the planet broke when George Clooney tied the knot with stunning and smart Amal back in 2014.
But what happened on their big day? Here we reveal some of the things that unfolded.
- The Clooneys’ wedding took place in Venice, Italy, and followed three days of partying with guests.
- More than 100 guests were invited including John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Anna Wintour, Bono, Rende Gerber and Cindy Crawford.
- Messages from celebrity pals Dan Akroyd and Sandra Bullock were read aloud at the nuptials.
- The song ‘Why Shouldn’t I?’ by Cole Porter was selected for the couple’s first dance.
- Phones were banned from the ceremony but Amal and George treated guests to an iPod with a playlist of hand-selected songs
- Italian chef Riccardo De Pra prepared guests’ five-course meal, which included lobster, risotto, sea bass, and beef.
- Some of the guests were partying until 5AM
Presumably, the family like it because the mayor recently introduced a £370 fine for anyone coming within 100 metres of the estate.
Tourists were outraged but George was said to be delighted and recently turned down an offer of £80million to sell the place.
He is also in the enviable position of turning down £26million for just one day’s work for an airline commercial because it was associated with a ‘questionable’ country – although he did not specify which one.
But he has secured lucrative deals with Fiat cars and Nespresso coffee to film adverts in Lake Como, conveniently cutting out a commute.
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Vive la France
The Clooneys kicked off 2021 by making some French estate agents very happy, splashing out £8million on a chateau in Provence.
As well as a huge 10,000 square foot, three-storey castle, the sprawling 425-acre Domaine du Canadel estate also boasts a vineyard, olive groves and a lake.
Oh and their nearest neighbour should they need to borrow a cup of sugar is Brad Pitt.
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Hollywood hang out
When they are in Tinseltown the Clooneys’ house is the same one that George bought from Fleetwood Mac legend Stevie Nicks back in 2012.
Aptly for a film star, the 7354 square feet Colonial style mansion is in an area called Studio City and the six-bedroom house has an Alpine-style open fire.
Plus the cellar is also home to George’s impressive wine collection.
Since having a family, he has added a play cottage for the kids, two villas for live-in help and an outdoor pizza oven.
Of course, it has the other superstar essentials such as a swimming pool, fully stocked cocktail bar and a surround sound screening room – with reclining leather seats, its own popcorn machine and walls decorated with black and white photos of vintage Hollywood stars.
“A home is a place where your family and friends are part of,” Clooney said when he purchased the pad.
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Life’s a beach
One of their favourite holiday destinations, the family are often spotted in Los Cabos, one of the best beach resorts in the world.
The holiday home George bought in 2009 is slap back next door to his best mate Rande Gerber and his supermodel wife Cindy Crawford.
Custom designed by one of Mexico‘s most eminent architects, Ricardo Legoretta, it was described by his son Victor as: “Elegant and almost like an art piece – but where you would still be comfortable walking around barefoot and in a swimsuit.”
There are oak furnishings and a frangipangi tree sprouting from the living room.
Well, who doesn’t need one of those?
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The high life
They also followed Cindy and Rande to the Big Apple and treated themselves to a four-bedroom penthouse apartment, just one floor down in the same skyscraper.
Worth an eye-watering £30million they added the ultra-modern flat to their bulging property empire in 2016.
The glass high rise building in midtown Manhattan is home to 94 luxury apartments which all have floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Central Park and polished concrete floors.
Not to mention the 60-foot swimming pool, ballet barre, yoga studio, Pilates room, cocktail bar, library and a state-of-the-art gym.
There is a chef’s kitchen with bronze counters, but if you can’t be bothered getting it dirty, the ground floor is home to a Michelin-star restaurant.
![a woman carrying two children and a teddy bear that says ' christmas ' on it](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/amal-clooney-kids-alexander-clooney-454398908.jpg?strip=all&w=640)
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Designer gear
Amal has also become a fashion icon since walking down the aisle.
She is often spotted at designer parties, including the opening of Giambattista Valli’s London store in 2018.
And the same year mother-of-two stole the crown for the ‘best dressed guest’ at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s royal wedding in May in a canary yellow dress by designer Stella McCartney.
She teamed the £1,250 dress with Gianvito Rossi at £600, a £250 Stephen Jones hat and Lorraine Schwartz earrings worth £373,00 – making the whole ensemble add up to over £375,000.
In just one 14 days stint in 2016, Amal wore outfits that cost a combined £34,000.
The priciest day’s ensemble was worth £5,407 and included a £1,740 leather holdall from Roger Vivier.
With millions in the bank and a circle of pals that includes Hollywood and real royalty, you have to keep up appearances at all costs.
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Every time we go on holiday my husband ogles other women on the beach
DEAR DEIDRE: EVERY time we go on holiday together, my husband can’t help himself from ogling other women in front of me on the beach.
I’ve tried my hardest to ignore it but seeing the way he looks at their bodies has done a number on my self-esteem.
I am 52, he’s 57 and we’ve been together for 22 years.
We’ve always had a happy marriage but in recent years our sex life has died off and we’ve become disconnected.
It wasn’t until we went to Greece last year that I noticed he’d developed a wandering eye.
Watching the way he looked at these younger women made me feel so low. They were everything I wasn’t – skinny, youthful and toned.
I’d managed to push it to the back of my mind until this summer when he was even more blatant – openly staring at any pretty or younger woman.
He made me feel completely invisible.
Now my confidence has hit an all-time low.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
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Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s behaviour is disrespectful and hurtful, so it’s no wonder that it’s starting to affect your confidence and self-esteem.
You need to talk to him and tell him how this is making you feel. While it’s no excuse, it’s likely the disconnect between you contributing to his behaviour.
It would be beneficial for you to discuss what you can both do to improve your relationship and in turn your sex life. My support pack Saving Your Sex Life will help you work it out.