THEY got married just three months ago.
But one woman has been left broken-hearted after discovering that her husband has been sexting other people, since their wedding.
In a post on Reddit, the 27-year-old explained that her other half had asked if she wanted to make a couples account of them – “just for posting pics and maybe as another extra income endeavour”.
While he initially said that he hadn’t posted on the site because of the stringent rules, he later said he had shared a picture.
“After telling me about him posting a picture, I started getting this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach,” she wrote.
“I could tell he wasn’t wanting to talk while he was at work and was just acting different.
“He’s a nervous creature and almost always tells on himself.”
They have an “open phone policy” between them, so when he went to the bathroom, she looked at his phone.
“There it was. Exchanging pictures. Sexting with other people,” she wrote.
“Sexting with men. So many messages…” she continued, adding that it wasn’t the fact the messages were with men had bothered her, as they’re both bisexual.
“It’s the fact that he lied, and hid, and not only looked for something we are suppose to provide for each other somewhere else, but he did it in a way that I can’t be that for him.
“He and I always talked that cheating and looking elsewhere was never an option.
“We would talk if we were unhappy. I guess he changed his mind.”
The couple had been high school sweethearts, before splitting and going their separate ways.
After a series of unsuccessful relationships, they eventually got back together, as she said “there has always been something about him”.
“He’s always seemed almost otherworldly with how he treats and sees me,” she said.
“I have medical issues that I’m constantly dealing with and he’s been there so patiently and kindly.
“I truly thought, ‘this man is my soulmate.’ I really did hold him on a pedestal.. my bad.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
But following the sexting, she just doesn’t “see him the same”.
“His godly pedestal has fallen and looks like s**t now, honestly,” she wrote.
“And I don’t what to do. How do I trust him again?
“How do I stop seeing him as a selfish ass?
“Everything he does now drives me nuts and I just feel resentful. Am I being dramatic?”
She concluded by writing: “I don’t want to be a divorcee after only 3 months but I don’t know what to do.
“I’m mad. I’m distrustful.”
“You are not going to see him the same for a really long time,” one person wrote in the comments.
“The trust will need to be rebuilt, but that is a lot of work.
“The important question is, do you think the work is worth it in the end?”
“It is understandable that you used to think that he was special and now you see him as being tainted,” another added.
“Nobody is perfect and you can definitely work past this and set up and establish new boundaries and expectations going forward.”
As a third commented: “This is a huge betrayal of trust. You are not being dramatic.
“You have two choices: couples’ therapy, if you want to make it work.
“Divorce if you don’t.
“You can always try working on it and leave if there is no change.
“Honestly, it is better to split now than later on. There are no kids to worry about.”
