DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I love my boyfriend to death, I find it impossible to show him affection.
I can kiss him during sex but, afterwards, I go cold and can’t even hug him.
I’m 24 and he’s 25. We’ve been together for a year.
He is a very tactile, affectionate person. He showers me with hugs and kisses every day, but I find myself flinching and, try as I might, can’t do it back.
It’s now starting to become a problem in our relationship as he feels it must mean I don’t really care about him.
But that’s not the case. I want to hug and kiss him, it’s just that something stops me.
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Once, during a row, he called me ‘colder than a corpse’. It really hurt.
I like being held during sex and enjoy passionate, sexual kissing. It’s just day to day touching and kissing that I find difficult.
It feels intrusive, like my space is being invaded.
I don’t know why I’m like this – and always have been in previous relationships too, so it’s not about him.
I have never been abused and my childhood was happy. However, in my family, people didn’t show their love by hugging or kissing.
In fact, I can’t remember ever seeing my parents kiss.
How can I overcome this before it ruins my relationship?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Upbringing has a profound impact on how we behave as adults.
That doesn’t mean you can’t learn to become more affectionate, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
Explain to your boyfriend how you feel. Tell him you want to learn to become more affectionate, but it will take time and he needs to respect your space.
Take small steps. Hold his hand, stroke his arm, give him a quick peck on the cheek. Slowly build up to full hugs.
If you’re in control, it will feel less intrusive.
The more you do this, the more comfortable and natural it will become.
FRANK LAMPARD has revealed the one job he would be “crazy” to turn down as he eyes a return to management.
The Chelsea legend, 46, has been out of the game since his caretaker stint at Stamford Bridge came to an end in May last year.
His most recent permanent role ended four months earlier when he was sacked by Everton after winning just 12 of 44 matches.
Lampard, who has turned his hand to punditry, has been linked with a number of managerial roles over the past year with the likes of Canada, Rangers and Burnley.
But as he still looks for the perfect fit, he has admitted it is the England job which he would not be able to turn down.
Speaking on The Sports Agents podcast, he said: “As an English player who played 100-plus times, and an English person who’s very proud – of course, the England set up is something… I never dreamed of playing as many times for England, let alone now as a coach.
“So, now as a coach, I think I would be crazy to sort of say, ‘Oh no, that would never interest me’.
“It would have to be something that they would want me to do, and have to be something that I want to do and thought I could add value to it in any way.”
Following Gareth Southgate‘s departure in the summer, Three Lions’ U21 boss Lee Carsley has taken interim charge.
He enjoyed wins in his opening two matches against Ireland and Finland – and will oversee the remaining four Nations League matches in October and November.
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The FA could then opt to keep Carsley on as they look forward to the 2026 World Cup in the US, Canada and Mexico.
But a number of other names are also in the frame – and make for more suitable alternatives than Lampard.
They include Newcastle boss Eddie Howe, Graham Potter, or even Pep Guardiola.
Former Chelsea boss Potter recently spoke of the England job on Monday Night Football.
He said: “As an Englishman, of course it’s a fantastic job and I’m supportive of the FA and what they decide to do and whoever the next coach is.
“Gareth did a fantastic job and I’m sure Lee will in his time, however long that is.”
Se ha dado a conocer que las autoridades en Argentina han autorizado el traslado del cuerpo de Diego Armando Maradona de un cementerio al mausoleo que estará llevando el nombre de “M10 Memorial”. Dicho mausoleo al que se llevará el cuerpo del Campeón del Mundo en México 1986 se encontrará en el centro de Buenos […]
La entrada Cuerpo de Diego Armando Maradona será trasladado a mausoleo se publicó primero en Verás.
DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend’s holiday fling is coming to the UK soon and I’m paranoid she’ll meet up with him for sex.
She’s assured me she has no interest in seeing him again but I’m finding it hard to believe her.
I’m 30 and she’s 27. We’ve been together for two years.
She’s always been very honest and open about her sexual past. I know she had four boyfriends before me, plus a holiday romance in Italy, when she was on her gap year.
They’re still in touch on social media, although they never message each other directly – I’ve checked.
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
Last month, he posted that he’s visiting the UK for a few months for work.
She told me their relationship is in the past and she isn’t remotely attracted to him anymore. She has no plans to see him.
But I’ve seen the photos and he is extremely handsome – which doesn’t exactly help me feel less insecure.
She says she’s committed to me and is upset that I don’t believe her.
What can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend is right to be upset.
She’s been open and honest, yet you still don’t trust her. And, it appears you’ve been spying on her social media and messaging apps.
Everyone has a past. The problem here isn’t her ex but your jealousy.
You need to overcome it or it will destroy your relationship.
My support pack, Coping With Jealousy, should help.
Think about counselling to help you get to the root of your problem, which might lie in past experiences.
