Make that quaint, clever and immensely cute.
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AUSSIE Shore has been thrown into chaos as one of its stars has quit after filming X-rated scenes.
Gabby chucked in the towel after just one day, having struggled living with her wild housemates.
The first two episodes of the Geordie Shore spin-off – that features Charlotte Crosby – has dropped on Paramount+ this week and they come with a graphic warning.
Set in a house share in Queensland, the show’s stars are all in their twenties and in their party prime.
Deciding it wasn’t for her, Gaby packed her bags and snuck out of the house while her co-stars were nursing hangovers from the night before.
Catia, 23, reveals the news after they wake up when she finds a letter from Gabby.
She croaks: “Oh my gosh.
“Everybody come here around the kitchen, come around the kitchen!”
She reads out the letter from Gabby, who wrote to them: “Dear everybody, it was heckers to meet you all.
“I thought it would be better to get the f**k out of here. I love you all. See you all later.”
Catia then tells the group: “I hate those types of goodbyes.”
The raunchy show left viewers gasping within minutes over explicit sex scenes and wild moments at the cast’s house parties.
Romps have included oral sex on camera, and women licking alcohol off each other in bikinis.
The first episode sees 11 housemates from across Oz move into a mansion in Cairns, Queensland, ready for a sizzling summer with Geordie Shore legend Charlotte Crosby as House Boss.
Within minutes wild child Lily is seen with cucumbers on her nipples “to keep them refreshed” before twerking without a bra on in a white shirt.
She later jumps in the shower with Con topless before the night even begins.
After flirting with Con, she mounts a different guy, Tom, on a pool floatie before passionately kissing him.
That doesn’t deter Con though, and later he and Lily disappear to the mansion’s ‘Shag Pad’ but are unable to get busy after drinking too much.
A teaser clip for the series ahead also sees two of the men engage in a sex act on a bunk bed – while one of their housemates attempts to sleep above.
Elsewhere, housemate Kyle, who describes himself as “probably gay… but a bit bisexual” gets to know blonde bombshell Catia in the pool.
“The sexiness in the pool, we were doing some dirty s**t,” he brags.
During a game of sex confessions earlier in the evening, Catia left an impression on the boys by discussing a sexual act she performed on an ex-boyfriend.
She then simulated what happened by throwing her legs up in the air and shocking the men in front of her.
This promises to only be the start of the sexual antics from the gang, who admit they’re struggling to talk about anything besides sex.
THE BOSS
Charlotte Crosby – a Geordie Shore OG, Charlotte is now the boss, who arrives at the house to set the gang on work tasks to earn money
THE GUYS
CALLUM – First seen on Love Island Australia and later I’m A Celebrity.
MANAAKI – A proud attention seeker, Manaki is ready to sh*g ‘everyone and anyone’
CON – A 27-year-old barber who takes pride in his appearance and loves winning over women with his charm
COOPER – A 27-year-old tattooed gym junkie who’s secretly big softie on the lookout for love
TOM – A farmer boy from the countryside of Victoria, Tom is not afraid to put himself out there and try and get his leg over
KYLE – The 25-year-old describes himself as “probably gay… but a bit bisexual”. He’s a court worker so is ready to let his hair down by the weekend
THE GIRLS
CATIA – a 23-year-old trainee personal trainer
NARDOS – a Perth law graduate whose idea of hell is hard labour
LEXIE – a 23-year-old pansexual party princess and content creator
LILY – A 21-year-old whose favourite feature is her natural boobs, which she believes help her be a hit with the boys
JAEDA – A 22-year-old who once managed to flirt her way into getting a ride home from a paramedic in an ambulance.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun about the new series, Charlotte said: “It’s 100% wilder. Me and Sophie [Kasaei] were watching it the other day, and we were watching it through our hands.
“That’s two people from Geordie Shore watching it through our hands. It’s a different level of wild. It’s shocking all the way through.”
Speaking of her new role, Charlotte said: “I left Geordie Shore and didn’t want to be involved in a show where you live and breathe drama, drunkenness and arguments. I just wasn’t about that anymore.
“When I got offered to be the Boss, I thought it was a great chance to still be involved in what I love and always done, but not be fully involved.”
Charlotte admitted being part of Aussie Shore was “nostalgic” but said it hasn’t made her want to return to the UK version.
“It was very nostalgic, every single moment I would walk in the house and there would just be mess everywhere, so many good memories would come flooding back, it was so nostalgic the whole way through,” she explained.
Aussie Shore continues Thursdays on Paramount+.
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Arsenal return to Premier League action and will expect maximum points against struggling Southampton on Saturday afternoon.
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Brentford are next in the enhanced acca as they take on rock-bottom Wolves. It’s been a difficult start to the campaign for Gary O’Neil’s side, who’ve taken just one point from a possible 18.
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A RUSSIAN Cold War submarine is up for sale – but buyers need deep pockets to cover its £1.5 million price tag.
The Foxtrot-class submarine, capable of holding 22 torpedoes, was decommissioned by the Soviets in 1993.
At 302ft long, the vessel once carried 12 officers, 10 warrant officers and 56 seamen while navigating the oceans.
It could go five days fully submerged in the water but was a bit of a squeeze with a beam of 25ft and draft of 17ft.
The sub could plunge down to almost 1,000ft below sea level and travel at a speed of 4 knots while cruising.
The communist invention, designed in the early 50s, played a big role as part of the Soviet Union’s underwater fleet.
The Russian Navy retired its last Foxtrot-class submarines in 2000.
Sellers on boat merchants Mysubmarines.com also list tourist and research submarines, alongside subsea scooters and subcrafts.
According to its website, “This Soviet era submarine currently requires minor refitting and is ready to deliver”.
It adds: “The model available for sale offers a unique opportunity to own a piece of naval history, providing insight into the life of submariners and the strategic military technology of the 20th century.”
The first Foxtrot class – also known as Project 641 – was commissioned in 1958.
The ships measured 295 feet and were powered by three Kolomna 2D42M diesel units of 2,000 horsepower output and three electric motors.
The Foxtrot class subs played a critical role in the Soviet Navy during the Cold War.
Four USSR Foxtrot-class diesel subs armed with nuclear weapons were deployed with one of them coming very close to launching a nuclear torpedo against US forces.
Washington and Moscow came to the brink of an all-out war when the captain of the Soviet sub mistakenly thought they were under attack.
Once he realised the US ships were actually signalling and not attacking he backed down.
One of the last active service vessels- the Zaporizhia- was captured by Russian forces during the 2014 annexation of Crimea.
DRIVERS are furious after fuel they bought from a major supermarket was “contaminated” and caused cars to “suddenly break down.”
The chain has almost 500 stores across the UK and provides petrol stations at many of its sites.
Some drivers, however, are now fuming that they are hundreds of pounds out of pocket after filling up their cars with what is thought to have been contaminated fuel from one the supermarket’s petrol station.
A number of people have experienced problems with their vehicles after buying unleaded at Morrisons in Strood, Kent last week.
David Abernethy put £65 of fuel in his Range Rover at around 5pm on Wednesday, September 25.
The 64-year-old, from Frindsbury, noticed there was something wrong the next morning.
He said his car refused to start up when he tried to turn it on.
After what he described as a period of “unusual” rumbling noises, the car seemed to eventually be fine on the road.
But he said the car was still not working properly.
Then he saw on social media that other motorists had been having similar issues after filling up at the Morrisons on Knight Road.
Earlier this year, the supermarket announced all its petrol stations had been taken on by another company, Motor Fuel Group (MFG).
David said he tried to contact MFG but without success.
He then didn’t use his car at all on Friday and rang them again on Monday as his wife could not get to work without the vehicle.
However, he says, he couldn’t get through to the company.
David eventually called the AA that day who drained 65 litres of fuel out of his car.
When he asked for a sample of the fuel, he said it was “a third water.”
Not only did it cost him £360 to get the fuel drained, but then another £90 to fill up his tank with unleaded premium, as advised by the breakdown company.
He added: “The mechanic showed me all the water in the bottle and said there shouldn’t be that much in the system.”
David said how it was “unfortunate” he was in the Morrisons car park at the time as he normally doesn’t fill up there.
John Lowdon, who lives just 300 yards away from the supermarket, filled his car up at around 8.30am on Friday (September 27) and noticed problems straight away.
The 74-year-old put £48 of petrol into his Ssangyong Tivoli ready to drive to Dorset for a family holiday on Sunday but says the car “spluttered” on his way home.
He said: “I managed to get home but the car was spluttering the whole time and I didn’t know what it was so I went out later to try it again and the car was dead, it wouldn’t do anything.”
John then went back to the petrol station in his wife’s car only to find that pump seven had a ‘do not use’ yellow box over it.
He was then provided with the number and email address of the fuel provider by the station.
After trying to get through on several occasions, he says the company confirmed it was investigating the problem.
He added: “I have no idea what was wrong with the petrol, all I know is that my car is dead.
“At the moment I don’t know what’s gone on. As far as I’m concerned, you’re buying the petrol from Morrisons.
“If you go and buy a packet of somebody’s sausages in Morrisons you don’t then have to go back to them to fix the problem.”
John says he hasn’t got a quote yet from his mechanic about the car’s problems and that he’ll have to pay what he has to in order to repair it.
But he shone light on the thought that some people “just can’t afford to pay for it.”
He added: “But there are people that just can’t afford to pay for it. If their car has just stopped in the middle of Strood they have no option but to pay £90 to get it towed away, and then £250-£300 to have it fixed – plus the cost of filling it up in the first place.
“It’s something like £450, and some people don’t have that nowadays and rely on their cars for work.”
He says he will not be returning to Morrisons for fuel.
As of yesterday (October 1), the unleaded option at pumps three, four, seven and eight were all out of use.
Several other people have taken to Facebook to report issues with their cars after filling them up at the same petrol station.
A Morrisons spokesman said: “We don’t own or operate the petrol sites anymore – they are all managed by MFG”.
MFG has been approached for comment by The Sun.
