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The ‘optical illusion’ trend celebs like Molly-Mae and Rihanna are loving in autumn – you can recreate with £11 ASOS buy

IF Hollywood movies are anything to go by, kids get bullied at school for wearing glasses. 

But a whole host of celebrities are making specs stylish this autumn – even ones who DON’T need them to see. 

a woman wearing glasses and a black coat is crossing the street in front of a cadillac store
Molly-Mae Hague, 25, put geek chic on the map with these ASOS frames
Instagram
a woman wearing glasses is standing in front of a p39 logo
Supermodel Bella Hadid, 27, is partial to a pair of specs
Instagram
a woman wearing glasses and a red satin jacket
Selling Sunset’s Chelsea Lazkani, 31, is also a proud glasses wearer… and has an enviable collection
Instagram

From Bella Hadid rocking a pair on the YSL runway at Paris Fashion Week to Molly-Mae Hague pairing some with her new fashion line yesterday, glasses are slowly becoming chic. 

It’s been a long road, though. 

Back in the Nineties and Noughties, glasses were associated with being nerdy. 

Particularly for school kids, a pair of specs on your face made you stand out as “different”. 

Now, getting optical is a style statement.

Social norms have been broken down and the boundaries of fashion have been pushed, meaning those of us with bad eyesight can breathe a sigh of relief. 

Not only is our poor vision trendy, but it’s something celebs are somewhat celebrating through fashion. 

Molly-Mae, 25, took to Instagram yesterday from the streets of Paris in a pair of clear lens aviators.

The ASOS DESIGN Clear Lens Aviator Glasses with Blue Light Lens are currently just £11.20 in the e-retail giant’s sale. 

Fans were quick to beg the mum-of-one and owner of Maebe for a link to buy themselves a pair. 

“Oh my god, you with the glasses,” Monie Newton gushed in the comments section. 

“Molly-Mae, you so suit wearing glasses,” Clare Caffery added. 

Supermodel Bella Hadid, 27, has regularly been pictured in clear lens glasses.

And if her recent runway appearances are anything to go by, she’s keeping the geek chic trend going this autumn. 

a woman wearing a blue shirt and a plaid skirt is standing on a sidewalk .
Rihanna was pictured in clear lens glasses earlier this month
Instagram/ Rihanna
a woman wearing a blue shirt and a plaid skirt is standing on a sidewalk .
J-Lo also put her own Noughties spin on the geek chic trend
Instagram

Similarly, Chelsea Lazkani from Netflix’s hit show Selling Sunset is a proud glasses wearer. 

The 31-year-old has a range of speccy styles that she rocks on-and-off the programme, including classic “nerd” shapes with thin rectangular lenses and barely-there rims. 

Chelsea’s fans regularly describe her as “sex on legs” in her Instagram comments, proving that nerdy can be attractive too. 

Another spec-lover is singer and beauty mogul Rihanna.

Fabulous Fashion Editor On Autumn Trends

WANT to look fabulous this season? Then listen up...

Here, Fabulous’ fashion editor, Clemmie Fieldsend, says these are the top 5 trends from the hottest catwalk designers for autumn 2024. 

BOHO: The boho revival is a much needed breath of fresh air for autumn and means you can wear your sheer tops, girly frocks and big jeans with heavy duty boots.

But if the clothes aren’t for you think, big accessories like slouchy tote bags, big earrings and bigger bangles. 

TEXTURE: Be it smooth leather, sumptuous faux fur or soft suede, textures are everywhere this season.

They add depth to your look, making you stand out as well as look more expensive. 

BURGUNDY: Maroon, oxblood, berry- whatever you choose to call it fashion is seeing red this autumn. 

The deep and rich colour is everywhere and works best with greys, black, dark blues and in head-to-toe.

LADY LIKE: Matching top and cardigan sets and pencil skirts sound dated but they go hand-in-hand with lady-like. 

Mix with satin cami dresses and waisted blazers for an ultra feminine look.

LEOPARD PRINT: This season 75% of the catwalk was leopard print, according to Tagwalk – a huge majority.

It crawled its way in last season but its rife for autumn and all over the high street, be it shoes or floor sweeping coats, it’s a must have trend. 

The Rude Boy singer posed up on the streets of New York in a clear-framed pair earlier this month. 

Luxury fashion houses like Gucci, Prada and Tom Ford have been dipping their toes into the clear lens eyewear world for decades. 

It was inevitable the style of luxury shoppers would trickle down to the high street at some point. 

Now, you can nab clear lens glasses anywhere from Primark and Poundland to PrettyLittleThing and ASOS. 

So, the next time you’re tempted to pop in your contacts, maybe think twice. 

Your glasses could be the best way to see the world… and for the world to see you.

Read More »

This is why Rachel Lester is a TikTok singing sensation years after her sweary X Factor contestant audition

RACHEL Lester is a Welsh singer who had one of the most famous X Factor auditions of all time.

The singer told Sharon Osbourne, Louis Walsh, Simon Cowell and Dannii Minogue that they were  “f***ing s***” in an appearance that has now gone viral on TikTok.

a woman is standing in front of a red background and making a funny face .
Rachel Lester made a big impression on the X Factor show
Thames/ITV
three people sit at a table with a sign that says x on it
Rachel famously argued with the panel when they said that she would not go through to the next round
Thames/ITV

Fans have been using audio from her 2007 audition to make jokes about their own lives.

Here’s everything you need to know about Rachel Lester.

Who is Rachel Lester?

Rachel was born on May 1, 1997, and grew up in Wales.

She started singing from a young age and had big ambitions of becoming a singer.

The welsh artist told the X Factor judges that she had been “singing all my life, all round the towns and everything”.

Not much is known about her employment history, but she did tell the X Factor judges that she was doing “nothing” and that she was “lazy at the moment”.

a woman in a black dress singing into a microphone
Rachel said that she could sing better than the Queen of Pop Madonna
Getty Images

What happened in Rachel Lester’s X Factor audition?

Rachel’s audition has become one of the most famous in X Factor history.

From the moment she entered the room, she left quite an impression with her wide-eyed stare which has been imitated often online.

She sang “Sugar Walls” by Sheree Easton and rated her own performance a 10 out of 10.

Rachel also told the judges, one of which was Dannii Minogue, that she could sing like her sister Kylie and that she was better than the Queen of Pop herself, Madonna.

Sadly, the judges didn’t agree with Rachel’s 10/10 assessment and decided to send her home, though Rachel found time to get into one more spat with the judges.

She said that the judges “lick each other’s f*****g arses, all to get where you want to f*****g be”.

Since her appearance on X Factor, Rachel has not yet hit the big time in music but numerous accusations have been levelled against the show by ex-contestants.

The most famous of which is Zoe Alexander, who got into an infamous fight with the judges over whether she should sing one of P!NK’s songs.

a woman is sitting in a crowd of people and looking at the camera .
Rachel famously said that she was “lazy at the moment”
Thames/ITV
a woman in a gold sequined dress is smiling in front of a wall that says diva awards
Rachel said thatshe could sing as good as X Factor judge Dannii Minogue
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Why is Rachel Lester’s X Factor audition going viral on TikTok?

Many TikTok users who remember Rachel’s audition on the fourth series of the X Factor have begun to recreate her audition.

Often, quotes and pieces of music are repurposed to make jokes and Rachel’s now iconic “nothing I’m lazy at the moment” is no exception.

Users are using the quote to make jokes about their own unemployment or desire for a life of leisure.

Rachel has yet to comment on the trend, but has acquired a legion of fans wishing her the best.

What has Simon Cowell said about Rachel Lester’s audition?

Simon described Rachel’s appearance on the show as as the X Factor’s “worst audition”.

He, and the other judges, gave Rachel a firm “no” when asked if she should move forward with the show.

The X Factor is no longer on the air and Simon has yet to comment on the viral TikTok trend honouring Rachel’s TV appearance.

Read More »

How Israel is wiping out Hezbollah leadership one-by-one as terror boss Hassan Nasrallah ‘hides in 50ft deep bunker’

ISRAELI forces are wiping out Hezbollah’s chain of command from the ground up as Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vowed to double-down on the terrorists with “full force”.

As Israel rejected a 21-day ceasefire plan, the possibility of all-out war looms large, turning southern Lebanon into a “death zone”.

a soldier has a patch on his arm that says p-10
AFP
Israeli soldiers have been preparing to invade Lebanon as they killed several Hezbollah bosses[/caption]
a large cloud of smoke is coming out of a residential area
AFP
An Israeli airstrike that targeted the southern Lebanese village of Khiam[/caption]
a man with a beard is giving a speech in arabic
AFP
Hezbollah terror boss Hassan Nasrallah is now alone at the top[/caption] a poster showing the chain of command of the idf

Hundreds of people have this week been killed and half a million forced to flee their homes as Israel has pummelled areas of southern Lebanon used by Hezbollah with airstrikes.

And over the past 11 months, Israel eliminated nearly all of the terror group’s leadership, leaving Hassan Nasrallah alone at the top as he is reportedly hidden in a 50ft deep bunker.

Under Nasrallah, Hezbollah has earned political legitimacy in Lebanon while also engaged in operations that threaten regional stability.

According to IDF reports, his public statements have been marked by extreme anti-Semitism, including saying: “What do the Jews want? They want security and money.

“Throughout history the Jews have been Allah’s most cowardly and avaricious creatures.”

The terror boss is said to present his speeches hidden in bunkers, one of which believed to be 50ft below one of Hezbollah’s headquarters, Saw Beirut reports.

The Hezbollah Secretary General has been living underground for almost five years now.

two men sit at a table with a sign that says ' rosh ' on it
AFP
Israeli Foreign Minister Israel Katz (L) rejected ceasefire proposals on Thursday as Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (R) vowed to double-down on the Hezbollah blitz[/caption]
a man with a beard wears a scarf around his neck
AFP
As the IDF wipes out Hezbollah, they’re also on the hunt for Hamas boss Yahya Sinwar (pictured)[/caption]
Half a million Lebanese have fled their homes already, the country says
Half a million Lebanese have already fled their homes
a large pile of dirt and rocks in front of a building
AFP
People stand by an impact crater next to a destroyed warehouse – believed to belong to Hezbollah – at the site of an Israeli air strike in Jiyeh[/caption]

A fugitive who fears for his life and is loyal to his Iranian backers, he remains deep within the soil that he claims to have reclaimed from the Israelis.

And except for a few bodyguards, no one knows where he is.

But Nasrallah’s days in hiding could be coming closer to an end, as IDF troops have been not only wiping out Hamas bosses but swiftly targeting his own men – one by one.

WIPING OUT TERROR

An attack on Monday night in Beirut targeted Hezbollah commander Ali Karaki, raising questions about whether the senior terror leader had been killed in the strike.

After security officials confirmed that Karaki was the target of the strike, Hezbollah released a statement on Monday night stating that Karaki was “fine and, God willing, in full health and wellness and has moved to a safe place.”

The IDF said it will soon release more information on the “targeted strike”.

It was the fourth in Beirut since Hezbollah-led forces started assaulting Israeli settlements and border military installations almost every day on October 8 in support of Hamas during the war in Gaza.

Last Friday, Hezbollah was in chaos after losing two kingpins and 14 commanders in an IDF strike.

Ibrahim Aqil – a terror master on the US most wanted list for 40 years with a $7 million (£526 million) price on his head – was the biggest scalp claimed in the IDF blast on southern Beirut.

Aqil was regarded as the second in command of the Lebanese terror group.

Hezbollah later confirmed Ahmed Wahabi, commander of its elite Radwan Force, had also been killed.

Wahabi was the head of the terror group’s “central training unit,” and was previously top brass in the elite Radwan Force which fought in Syria.

a man with a beard and glasses is looking at the camera .
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Ibrahim Aqil – the head of Hezbollah’s operations and commander of the Radwan Force – was wiped out by the IDF[/caption]
a man wearing a hat with arabic writing behind him
Fellow Hezbollah chief Ahmed Wahabi was eliminated in an IDF strike
a man with glasses and a beard wears a green beret
Fuad Shukr, also eliminated, was Hezbollah’s highest-ranking military commander
Getty

The IDF said after Friday’s strike: “These commanders had been leading and planning the Radwan Force’s attack and infiltration plan into Israeli territory for years, to be executed when given the order.

“Aqil and the commanders eliminated in the strike were responsible for planning, advancing, and executing hundreds of terrorist operations against Israel, including the planning of Hezbollah’s murderous scheme to raid the communities of the Galilee.”

Karaki and senior officer Talal Hamiya were named to take Aqil’s position.

Karaki was a member of the Jihad Council, the highest military council inside Hezbollah, and headed the terror group’s so-called “Southern Front,” which was in charge of its military operations in south Lebanon.

Abu Ali Rida, the leader of the Bader regional division, Taleb Abdullah, the commander of the Nasr regional division, and Muhammad Nasser, the commander of the Aziz regional division, all worked under Karaki.

Both Abdullah and Nasser were killed in Israeli airstrikes in Lebanon, in June 11 and July 3, respectively, reports The Times of Israel.

And on July 30, the IDF wiped out Hezbollah’s top commander, Fuad Shukr, who Israel said was responsible for a deadly rocket attack on Golan Heights that killed 12 children.

Shukr, identified by the IDF as Nasrallah’s right-hand man, has been one of Hezbollah’s key military officials since the organisation was founded by Iran’s Revolutionary Guards over four decades ago.

The United States sanctioned Shukr in 2015, accusing him of playing a key part in the 1983 bombing of the US Marine barracks in Beirut.

On July 31, just a few hours after the Shukr attack, Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh was slain in a Tehran guesthouse, prompting threats of vengeance from the Palestinian terror group and its Iranian sponsors. Israel has not claimed responsibility for Haniyeh’s killing.

Israel also assassinated Hamas military wing chief Muhammad Deif in an attack in Khan Younis, Gaza, on July 13, and Deputy Hamas chief Saleh al-Arouri in a hit in Beirut on January 2nd.

Separately, on January 8, a strike blamed on Israel reportedly claimed the life of Wissam al-Tawil, the deputy commander of the terror group’s elite Radwan Force, in southern Lebanon.

Hezbollah’s chain of command might be getting eliminated from the ground up, but the terror group’s fighters could still hold some advantage as it might lure Israeli troops into a deadly killing zone.

a man with a beard wearing a camouflage jacket is smiling for the camera .
Taleb Sami Abdullah, commander of Hezbollah’s ‘Nasser’ unit, was killed by Israeli forces
Getty
a close up of a man 's face with a beard
Commander of the ‘Aziz’ unit, Mohammed Nasser, was also killed by the IDF
Getty
a man with a beard wearing a camouflage hat
Hezbollah’s commander of the Radwan force, Wissam al-Tawil, was killed by Israel
Getty

INTO THE FURNACE

Hidden beneath the villages and rocky hills of southern Lebanon lies Hezbollah’s terror lair – a labyrinth of terror tunnels for miles on end, which is home to a deadly arsenal of missiles.

Inside their underground missile city, Hezbollah fighters can move unseen, store weapons, and launch ambushes, creating a dangerous cat-and-mouse game with the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF).

Estimates place its army in the tens of thousands, and it is believed to possess about 150,000 rockets and missiles of all kinds, The Times reports.

But Hezbollah’s real objective is far more sinister.

The tunnels are designed to pull Israel’s military into a carefully constructed “fire trap,” a zone of devastation where every step forward risks disaster.

With thousands of fighters entrenched in these positions, Hezbollah aims to turn southern Lebanon into a battlefield where Israel’s technological and military dominance could be blunted by the challenges of underground and urban warfare.

This is what Hezbollah refers to as the “fire trap”.

As Israeli forces advance, they’re drawn deeper into unfamiliar and hostile territory.

Meanwhile, Hezbollah fighters are hidden underground, awaiting with advanced weaponry — from precision-guided missiles to lethal anti-tank rockets.

an illustration of hezbollah 's inferno in south lebanon

The IDF's Analysis of Hezbollah

by Juliana Cruz Lima, Foreign News Reporter

AN analysis by the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) said that Hezbollah, under the leadership of Hassan Nasrallah, has evolved into a well-armed terrorist organisation, presenting a significant threat to Israeli security.

With strong backing from Iran, Hezbollah’s military capabilities and strategic positioning in Lebanon continue to shape the region’s security dynamics.

Military Strength and Sophisticated Armaments: The IDF assesses that Hezbollah maintains a robust military force with 20,000-25,000 full-time fighters, supported by tens of thousands of reserves.

The organisation’s elite Radwan Unit, trained and equipped by Iran’s Quds Force, is noted for its expertise in conducting operations against Israel, including potential incursions into Israeli territory.

Hezbollah’s vast arsenal consists of over 150,000 rockets and missiles, making it one of the most heavily armed non-state actors globally.

Its weaponry, including Iranian-made Fajr-5 and Zelzal-2 rockets, has the capability to strike deep into Israeli territory, posing a direct and immediate threat. 

Advanced Warfare Capabilities: The IDF highlights Hezbollah’s advancements in modern warfare, facilitated by Iranian support.

This includes access to advanced anti-ship missiles, anti-tank weapons, and unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs).

Hezbollah’s ability to target Israeli naval assets was demonstrated during the 2006 conflict, where it effectively used anti-ship missiles.

The organisation’s UAV capabilities, with ranges up to 400 km, are seen as a growing threat to Israeli airspace and ground operations.

Hassan Nasrallah’s Leadership and Strategy: The IDF acknowledges that Nasrallah has been central to Hezbollah’s development from a militia into a hybrid political-military organization.

Since taking leadership in 1992, Nasrallah has focused on expanding Hezbollah’s rocket arsenal and enhancing its military capabilities.

His extremist ideology, particularly his anti-Semitic rhetoric, reinforces Hezbollah’s hostility towards Israel, while his leadership from hiding underlines the constant threat he poses despite his physical absence from public life.

Major Hezbollah Attacks: Hezbollah has been involved in numerous high-profile terrorist attacks, many of which have targeted Israel and Western interests. 

The IDF emphasises that, until 9/11, Hezbollah was responsible for more American deaths than any other terrorist organisation.

It is widely recognised as a global terrorist entity by many nations, including the U.S., the UK, Canada, and Israel.

Hezbollah’s Role in Lebanon’s Crisis: Lebanon’s ongoing economic collapse and political instability have created an environment in which Hezbollah wields disproportionate power.

The IDF warns that Hezbollah’s control and influence over Lebanon’s institutions and its military activities continue to threaten regional stability.

Israel-Hezbollah Conflict: The IDF provides a detailed account of Hezbollah’s ongoing military engagement with Israel, most notably during the 2006 Second Lebanon War.

The conflict, sparked by a Hezbollah attack on Israeli soldiers, resulted in the deaths of hundreds of Hezbollah fighters and significant destruction in Lebanon.

Despite this, Hezbollah has since rebuilt its forces and amassed a larger, more sophisticated arsenal, positioning itself as perhaps the most formidable terrorist organisation in the world.

Conclusion: The IDF concludes that Hezbollah, under Nasrallah’s leadership and backed by Iran, represents a major threat to regional security.

Its advanced military capabilities, particularly its extensive rocket and missile arsenal, coupled with its ideological commitment to attacking Israel, make it a key destabilising force in the Middle East.

As Lebanon faces severe internal challenges, Hezbollah’s role will likely continue to influence the region’s security landscape.

Read More »

MAFS UK viewers accuse producers of ‘stepping in’ over shock commitment ceremony moment

MAFS UK viewers have accused producers of ‘stepping in’ over a shock moment during last night’s commitment ceremony.

E4 fans couldn’t believe their eyes after Alex Henry, 28, decided to remain in the process after writing ‘Leave’ on his card.

a man in a white shirt with the letter l on it sits next to a woman in a red jacket
MAFS UK viewers have accused producers of ‘stepping in’ over a shock moment
Eroteme

The Brummie aviation operator, who is ‘married’ to Holly Ditchfield, 29, made his intentions clear at the end of yesterday’s installment – but U-turned before he could even pack his bags.

Huddersfield beautician Holly broke down in tears and branded him “disrespectful and childish”, asking him why he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring.

She fumed: “You speak to me like I’m a boy in the street,” to which he shot back: “If it wasn’t for this process, you would have been ghosted.”

Holly went on to claim her ‘husband’ had told the other grooms he would “do a U-turn and go with someone else” if he wasn’t happy in his marriage.

She branded it a “s****y comment” and shared her upset, but he pointed out how it was made on the stag do before they’d even met.

When the time came for the couple to decide whether it was time to stay or leave, they opted for different answers.

But within minutes, Alex changed his mind and vowed to continue working on his relationship with Holly despite her offer of leaving with him.

Those watching at home were left convinced that show bosses had ordered him to change his mind as they took to X, formerly Twitter.

One wrote: “Feels like a producers decision,” with another agreed: “Producer’s are producin.”

Someone else added: “The producers told him to stay cause there’s no way! He makes me feel uncomfortable.”

A fourth concluded: “The producers are doing an amazing job making Alex look like a full blown psychopath that should not be around women.”

Alex and Holly have had a turbulent time since saying “I do” during the current series of MAFS UK.

And, earlier in the week, Alex was seen savagely insulting Holly – leaving her in floods of tears.

They were seen sitting down with experts Paul Brunson, Mel Schilling and Charlene Douglas.

Alex said to Holly, “If this was not this process, you would have been ghosted.”

The experts were left shocked by the comment, and Holly was seen breaking down in tears.

She said, “That’s why I hate the situation I’m in.”

In a previous episode, a bust-up with Alex saw Holly storm out of the dinner party.

Alex had previously expressed how his lack of “fatherly instincts” might have proved a barrier in his marriage to Holly as a result of her being a mother-of-two.

These concerns spilled over into the dinner party when fellow bride Polly clashed with Alex as she urged him to be honest and open about what he could handle in the marriage.

It saw him shut Polly down, a conversation that was witnessed by his wife.

Immediately taking issue with what he had said, Holly saw red and snapped at her husband, “Don’t be rude!

“I’m not coping with someone who’s so f***ing disrespectful.

“I didn’t want someone like that around me because I had two children at home, and never would a man be around my kids who spoke like that, let me tell you, let me f***ing tell you!”

a man sits on a couch holding a piece of paper that says leave
Alex Henry decided to remain in the process after writing ‘Leave’ on his card
Eroteme
a woman in a red sweater is crying with her mouth open .
Channel 4
Holly broke down in tears and branded him “disrespectful and childish”[/caption]
a man wearing a white shirt with the number 4 on it
Eroteme
Alex was clearly unhappy in their ‘marriage’[/caption]

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My husband died and I’m relieved – I got the house & his money, but I have to make a fuss and pretend I’m sad

A WOMAN has expressed her relief at the death of her husband.

She explained that she got their house and his money after his passing, but admitted that she’s grateful to finally feel ‘free’.

a woman holding a rose under an umbrella in a cemetery
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A woman has revealed that her husband has died and she finally feels free[/caption]
a woman wearing sunglasses stands in front of a coffin
Getty
The mother confessed that her toxic husband was abusing her, but now he’s dead, she has to pretend to be sad for his grieving family[/caption]

The mother confessed that her husband abused her financially, mentally and even physically, and as a result, she is now thankful to be out of the toxic situation.

But despite this, she shared the difficulty she is currently facing – as she has to ‘pretend’ to be sad by his death.

Posting on social media, the mother opened up on her situation, leaving many open-mouthed.

Revealing all on Reddit, under the r/TrueOffMyChest thread under the username @Sorry_Weather6287, the woman titled her post ‘My husband died and I have to pretend that he was a great man who loved me.’

She then explained: “My husband passed away three months ago, I was relieved of that.

“He abused me financially, mentally and even physically, when I got pregnant he convinced me to quit my job saying that he would take care of me… 

“I could never buy anything again without asking his permission, I couldn’t even buy cream without asking his permission and he decided if I could or not, even months ago that I had a little money of my own I had to ask him for permission to buy something. 

“What was mine was theirs and theirs was theirs. But I stayed there because I still loved him and I didn’t have a place to go.”

Not only this, but the woman claimed that her husband cheated on her too, as she continued: “I had too low self-esteem and let myself be stepped on. When I stopped loving him he had already had his first affair. 

“He made me believe that I was to blame for the affair because I didn’t want to have sex months after my birth that left me torn and I had to receive stitches.

“I was already planning my exit and saving money little by little while I was working selling things from home since he wouldn’t let me work outside because he was very jealous. 

“I wanted to pay for a lawyer. He was having another affair with a friend of his which luckily kept him busier and I didn’t care anymore that he didn’t pay attention to me, I wanted him to stay as far away as possible. 

“I knew that man and he knew me, I could have made a big fuss but I didn’t, I kept quiet planning my way out while he and that man slept together in secret. 

“I only felt disgusted by my husband, nothing more.”

How you can get help

Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:

  • Always keep your phone nearby.
  • Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
  • If you are in danger, call 999.
  • Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
  • Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
  • If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
  • Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.

If you are a ­victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support ­service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.

Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.

You can also call the freephone 24-hour ­National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

But after the death of her husband, she revealed she is now dealing with people praising the manipulating man.

She added: “But my husband died in a way I never would have expected. He is now a martyr, when someone dies all the sins of that person disappear?

“Because that’s what even my family thinks, those who knew about his affair and how he manipulated me are now talking about how good a man he was and we shouldn’t insult someone who’s dead. 

“Everyone around me talks about how beautiful our relationship was, his family talks about what a great man he was and how he always focused on giving everything to me and our kid.

“His affair partner hugged me at the funeral saying that my husband loved me, his friends told me what a great person he was. 

The day he died I cried a lot but not out of sadness, I cried with relief and I felt FREE

Reddit user

“Everyone talks about how good he was and how he is now an angel in heaven.”

She explained that whilst she cried when he died, it wasn’t out of sorrow, as she wrote: “And I have to pretend to be sad. 

“The day he died I cried a lot but not out of sadness, I cried with relief and I felt FREE. 

“It would have taken me too many years to save to pay for lawyers with my little store without him realising that I was keeping money in secret, he would have kept everything, he would have made my life a hell and I know it because he had told me so every time I stood for myself. 

“But now I have the house, I have everything, I have the monthly money for being a widow, I have my children totally with me.”

It was really hard to pretend to be sad at the funeral but I did it for my child

Reddit user

In an attempt to move on, the woman shared: “I have started [seeing a] psychologist. Everyone thinks that I do it to cope with my grief but no, it is to overcome the abuse I suffered from him. 

“It was really hard to pretend to be sad at the funeral but I did it for my child. I did it because now everything is over and I’m free.

“If I made a fuss, my ex-MIL would have done something so that I wouldn’t keep anything, they were just like him. 

“But now I’m just a sad widow who needs help in their eyes, the silly widow who didn’t know anything but that’s helping me to be free and have what I deserve.”

Where to seek grief support

Need professional help with grief?

You’re Not Alone

Check out these books, podcasts and apps that all expertly navigate grief…

  • Griefcast: Cariad Lloyd interviews comedians on this award-winning podcast.
  • The Madness Of Grief by Rev Richard Coles (£9.99, W&N): The Strictly fave writes movingly on losing his husband David to alcoholism.
  • Terrible, Thanks For Asking: Podcast host Nora McInerny encourages non-celebs to share how they’re really feeling.
  • Good Mourning by Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn (£14.99, Murdoch Books): A guide for people who’ve suffered sudden loss, like the authors who both lost their mums.
  • Grief Works: Download this for daily meditations and expert tips.
  • How To Grieve Like A Champ by Lianna Champ (£3.99, Red Door Press): A book for improving your relationship with death.

REDDIT USERS REACT

Reddit users were left stunned by the woman’s confession and many flocked to the comments to share messages of love and support for the now widow. 

One person said: “I’m happy for you. You’re free! I hope you live the rest of your life in peace.”

I’m happy that you can finally be free now

Reddit user

Another added: “I love this for you! Not that you went through that, but that you’re doing well and are free now.” 

A third commented: “Glad you’re rid of him. If you can, when you feel strong enough, sell the house and move away from all the people and things you don’t want to be around. 

“Tell everyone it’s too tough for you being in the home and all the memories. They don’t need to know the memories are bad memories. Sending you best wishes over the internet.” 

Whilst someone else posted: “I’m happy that you can finally be free now. Let them say what they like. You know the truth.” 

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