AN infidelity coach has revealed the key signs a partner may cheat and says the chances increase depending on their age.
However, a must-try tip can keep their head from turning before an affair ravages the relationship.
Relationship experts have revealed why people are most likely to cheat at end-of-decade milestones (stock image)[/caption]
Albert Arnaiz, from Barcelona, revealed in his book How To Be Unfaithful Without Getting Caught that an affair is most likely to take place at ages 29, 39, and 49.
Relationship and sex counsellor Albertina Fisher said there isn’t any research that supports the infidelity coach’s claims.
However, the end-of-decade milestones logically make sense as these are periods when people are often reflecting on their lives.
Fisher told The Telegraph that affairs may happen in the late 20s as getting married or becoming a parent changes relationship dynamics.
“It’s quite normal, for example, for a father to feel pushed out,” she said.
“The couple has become three and that might act as a trigger for a father to have affairs.”
She said a person’s desire to be a “different version of themselves” can seem easier to pursue with an affair rather than adapting with their partner.
Growing up in a household where other people had affairs may also “legitimise” the idea of cheating.
Statistics show that 25 per cent of men and 18 per cent of women cheat on their spouses at least once during their marriage.
According to Arnaiz, communication is key for anyone who is concerned that their partner may be considering cheating.
It’s important to try to understand each other rather than avoiding difficult conversations.
Date nights while the grandparents look after the kids are often recommended by therapists as they allow couples to speak uninterrupted.
Intimacy coach Nicola Foster said people in their late 30s may be tempted to have an affair in their workplace as their partner focuses on their career development.
These people “played the field in their 20s” and after getting married in their 30s begin to panic about having sex with one person for the rest of their lives.
Communication and supporting each other’s personal growth can help to avoid outgrowing each other.
The help of a couple’s counsellor may be necessary to reconnect over the age of 40 as intimacy dwindles.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
Fisher said menopause, boredom, and middle age rather than a lack of sex may trigger an affair.
“A lot of what they are seeking is intimacy, that they feel they have lost in their current relationship,” she said.
Foster added that keeping secrets is what causes “damage” to a relationship.
Couples should discuss the possibility of consensual non-monogamy rather than hide an affair.
Marriage and becoming a parent may trigger an affair for people in their late 20s (stock image)[/caption]
