An influencer and parenting blogger has broken her silence about a rare condition she was diagnosed with after “pulling a bong” as a teenager.
Perth-based ‘mumfluencer’ Constance Hall, who has an online audience of 1.3 million Facebook followers, first revealed the long-lasting effect of smoking marijuana at the age of 13.
The mother-of-six took to social media on Monday to relive the day “life as she knew it” changed.
‘It was just like any other day. “I went back to my friend’s house after school and realized her brother was gone, so we stole his weed,” Hall began.
She and her friends each managed a single hit of a hookah before Hall “lost touch with my reality” within minutes.
Her friends laughed at how high she was, and Hall said she couldn’t really hang out with them.
“I had gone from an external story to an internal story,” she continued.
‘I was now trapped in my head and having conversations with myself. I was terrified and knew this wasn’t just being stoned.’
Constance Hall told her fans how a simple tap on a bong became a medical nightmare
The ‘mumfluencer’ (pictured with her partner) revealed she had ‘lost touch with my reality’ after her first hit
Her walk home was plagued by ‘floaters’ appearing in her vision, telling her mother what had happened.
Hall’s mother told her she was stoned and helped her to bed.
She recalled feeling “relieved” when she felt like herself again the next morning.
Two weeks later, Hall felt like she was in her own head again, despite having abstained from the drug since that first hit.
‘I could see and hear but couldn’t connect the dots, my thoughts became words as if I was talking to myself in my head. And the floaters in my eyes were the most common thing in my vision,” she continued.
‘My mother took me to a doctor who wanted to do tests for epilepsy. I knew that was a waste of time, I couldn’t explain the feeling, so I was stuck with it.’
She said she never saw a professional again after that, and the absence of social media or Google in her teenage years left her none the wiser about the true cause of the episodes.
‘For years I suffered random, regular attacks and felt like a prisoner of my own mind. Strobe lights; a party; thinking about it would cause it,” Hall said.
‘Going to sleep was the only way to get over it.
“I once wrote in my diary, ‘Give me physical pain over this every day.’ This is hell.’
Hall said a doctor didn’t know what was wrong with her, and she had been fighting in silence for years
The blogger eventually learned to control the feelings and stop any impending attacks.
She said she now just lives with the threat of the attacks and is able to make herself feel present again before the wave “engulfs” her.
Hall believes she recently discovered the true cause of the episodes after watching an interview of Post Malone.
The music star has spoken on a number of prominent podcasts about his battle with depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR).
“He explained exactly what I had,” Hall wrote.
“(That was) where I found a whole world of people suffering from what I had suffered, (I even found) a simulation video that focused on the visual eye floaters.”
“It can be caused by trauma or stress or substances like (hydroponically grown cannabis) or it can just occur naturally, and it is more likely to affect adolescents.”
She said the disorder is a “master at making you feel alone,” but told her fans that anyone with DPDR is not truly alone.
‘1-2 people in 100 get it and that’s just the people who report it. she added.
‘I heard about this way too late, it was purposeful and cost me years of happiness. It is notoriously difficult to explain, which increases the isolation.”
Hall said an interview with Post Malone opened her eyes to the true cause of her episodes
Hall ended the post explaining her reasons for sharing her ordeal.
“It can be hell, so if I can reach one person, I want them to know that you need to talk about it and know that you are supported.” she wrote.
‘Removing the fear of how you will be perceived during an attack is what completely took away my attacks.
“You will be happy again.”
The lengthy post was flooded with messages of support for the blogger.
Some said the post helped them identify someone they knew who might be suffering from the condition.
Others shared their own experiences with DPDR.
My 17 year old started experiencing this this year in very similar circumstances. I almost didn’t believe him at first… When he called and asked me to pick him up from school, I saw my big, 6-foot-2 boy shaking and crying, and I knew something very real was happening. one parent commented.
Another follower added: ‘This is exactly what happened to me a year ago. I turned to medical cannabis in hopes of helping with some nightmares I was having due to stress, and from there my whole world was ripped out from under me.”
According to Australia Counseling, derealization can cause patients to experience a sense of emotional and environmental dissociation or detachment.
The disorder can make people feel as if they are outside their own body and as if they are merely observing events, accompanied by a feeling that the events themselves are ‘unreal’.
Patients may feel emotionally and physically numb, distrustful of their own memories, and feel automated.
