DEAR DEIDRE: I RAN into a guy in town who my boyfriend was supposed to be away with on a golf holiday.
We’ve been together for two years but our sex life has stopped.
He says he can’t have sex with me. He was apparently advised by his doctor not to do it anymore because it was affecting his hernia.
He’s 52 and I’m female and 38. I feel sexually frustrated. Also I was thinking I’d like to start a family but with no sex, it’s not happening.
He’s a keen golfer and is always going away on ”golfing breaks” but when I saw his mate, I tracked my boyfriend down on the location services app on my phone to a hotel in Marbella which I found out was for single people.
I’ve since checked his laptop and because I know his passwords, I’ve found out he’s also on dating sites. I feel so betrayed.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry. You deserve better from him.
When he returns, confront him about the evidence you found after running into his friend.
It’s time for an honest conversation.
If he’s not being truthful about the doctor’s instructions and he is having sex elsewhere, then this isn’t the relationship you thought it was.
A hernia can cause some issues with sex but he should be able to get this treated.
You want a family but he’s stopping you from fulfilling that dream.
From what you have written he’s not invested in your relationship and it’s time to walk away.
