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I had an ‘emotional affair’ with a woman from work – my husband has no idea I’m considering leaving him


THE line between innocent friendships and emotional affairs can often become blurred.

One woman realised this when she found herself thinking about her co-worker a little too often.

two women are sitting at a table talking to each other
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A woman explained how she found herself in an ’emotional affair’ with her female co-worker (stock image)[/caption]

a woman sits on a bed with her head in her hands
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The Reddit user revealed how her marriage had grown ‘stagnant’ leading to her wanting more (stock image)[/caption]

In a Reddit post, the unnamed woman explained the circumstances of her emotional infidelity.

She revealed that she has been with her husband for 13 years and that “he’s been my first in everything in life.”

The poster described their relationship as having turned “a little stagnant.”

So when her new colleague started, her “chatting, warm, and likeable” demeanour was a welcome escape.

“I started to find myself getting that little bit more excited about going in to work because I would get to see her,” the Reddit user admitted.

The pair soon developed a friendship out of work, enjoying nights out and hikes together.

She explained that her co-worker had just gotten out of a serious relationship and the two bonded over their situations.

“I have confided in [my co-worker] that all the things we are doing together are things I wish [my husband] would do with me,” she said.

And when the Reddit user’s birthday rolled around, she celebrated with her colleague after it became evident her husband had forgotten the occasion.

While she eventually got over the birthday incident, the woman began to question how happy she was in her marriage.


“I know I am already emotionally cheating on my husband with [her],” the poster wrote.

“And I don’t even feel sorry. The more I think about it the more I realise how neglectful he has been of me.

“How I do everything in my power to please him, make him feel special, [the] sacrifices I’ve made to make him happy and valued, and I have had nothing in return for literal years.”

She revealed that her husband is completely unaware of her feelings and even wants to start a family.

Reddit users shared their thoughts on the situation in the comments section.

Tell-tale signs you’re having an emotional affair

SUDDENLY realising you have an emotional connection with someone can often come as a real surprise.

Here, relationship expert Kate Taylor reveals five tell-tale signs to look out for.

1. You see the world through their eyes – Everything about them seems interesting and cool, so you start copying their tastes – in music, food, films, TV.

2. You unconsciously dress for them – If they mention liking straight hair or tight jeans, you find yourself updating your look accordingly.

3. You have stopped arguing with your partner – In fact, it’s calmer at home than it’s been for years because you’ve emotionally checked out.

4. You enjoy sex more than ever – Your libido is on a high, but you don’t cuddle your partner afterwards and you turn your head when they kiss you.

5. You light up when you are together – And you hope strangers around you mistake you for a couple. In contrast, your real partner now feels more like a boring uncle or uncool mum.

“Two issues going on here: Your husband neglecting you and you fulfilling some of your needs outside the marriage,” pointed out one reader.

“Both [are] very dangerous unless you are ready to cheat because this is how you cheat.

“It does sound like you are checked out of the relationship, and that the relations has hit a wall,” wrote another person.

“Your relationship has problems that you guys haven’t addressed,” commented a third Redditor.

“You are cheating in the mean time. Don’t sugar coat it. You. Are. Cheating.”

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