A WOMAN has revealed that her husband has made up and is spreading cruel rumours about her as a punishment for her affair.
Not only has he portrayed himself as a victim and his wife of four years as a horny s**t, but he’s also embellished the affair – questioning the paternity of the couple’s unborn child, to his close family and friends.
A mum-to-be has revealed that her husband has been spreading rumours about her, to punish her for her affair[/caption]
The woman explained that he spread false information about her to close family and friends and has questioned the paternity of the couple’s unborn child[/caption]
Fuming and clearly devastated by the situation, the anonymous woman took to social media to share her confession.
Posting on Reddit, on the r/relationships thread, under the username @alittlebirdsings, the woman, 29, titled her post ‘My husband has been spreading a twisted truth to friends/family unbeknown to me as punishment for an affair’.
The mum-to-be then explained that she has been with her husband for seven years after meeting in college.
But she revealed that whilst the first few years were “very good”, after a while, things began to change.
She confessed: “About 17 months ago he started becoming distant, he was going through the motions of a relationship. The sex all but stopped.
“The loving and caring man turned into someone who just expected me to run things in our relationship and to be okay with that.
“I asked if we could go to couples’ therapy, he denied me, and I tried reading books and suggesting things, starting conversations. Nothing worked.”
The woman shared that as a result of the changes in their relationship, she had an affair.
She added: “Last spring I cheated. I reconnected with someone from high school, we texted sexually explicit things to each other and made plans to meet up for a weekend.
“He became a close confidant and I found myself wanting to talk to him more than my husband.
“When it came time to meet up with him, I backed out and confessed everything to my husband. I took full responsibility for everything.
“April 2015 was horrible, I felt immense guilt and he was cruel. We ended up working through it (again, he insisted on no therapy) and by July things were back to the “good times” and we were acting as a partnership. It was amazing.
“We discussed having kids, but agreed we were not in the right time; we still had to work on us.
“Well, life doesn’t work like that and we found out we were pregnant in October with a due date of July 2016. He was elated; I was a little less so but optimistic.
“Things have been really good since then, or so I thought. Here is where I need help.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
But regardless of not actually meeting up with her high school confidant, it appeared that her husband was reeling.
The woman explained that when looking at his laptop, she discovered the huge rumours he was spreading about her, in an attempt to punish her for her betrayal.
She continued: “Yesterday I was cleaning up our apartment, organising things and paying bills. I had to use his MacBook due to mine not being charged, no big deal we know the passwords to everything at this point.
“I went searching for the email for our electric bill and stumbled upon an email from his mother to him. It was all about me, how I am worthless, how I don’t clean or cook or take care of him. All lies, I do all of that and always have.
The fiction he wrote of our marriage scared and baffled me
Reddit user
“He told her about the affair and embellished it; he said that he questioned the paternity of our unborn child (there is no way that this child is anyone but his). I was floored.
“So I kept searching, not only does he have emails like this with his mother, but also with his sister, and two close friends.
“I read emails upon emails, starting right around when I confessed in April and the most recent being Tuesday where he talked about my “clear disinterest” in his new job and colleagues there.
“The fiction he wrote of our marriage scared and baffled me. He painted himself as a victim, blamed me for neglecting him and that he often felt the urge to cheat as well, one email he alluded to having done this but didn’t outright say it.
“I won’t say that I have been the perfect wife, I cheated, but honestly at that point I was seeking any type of intimacy that I could get.
“I had a husband who didn’t want to talk and hardly touched me, this doesn’t justify what I did as right but to me it gives explanation.
“No, he just painted me as a horny girl whose overworked and underappreciated husband couldn’t keep her satisfied.”
How you can get help
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
The woman shared when when she confront her husband, he simply laughed.
She recalled: “He legit laughed at me. Told me that all he wanted from me was to be a good wife, make dinner, clean, do his laundry, and be there when he wanted.
“He told me I got too needy which is why he pulled back, he hoped that I would just deal with it and not go cheat. He said that hurt but not as bad as he made it out to be, and as a result he wanted me to hurt from it (mission accomplished).
“When I asked him why the emails? He said I deserved it, he is a good husband who provided a good home for me, and I needed a proper punishment.
“He wanted people close to us to know what kind of person I am, to see that I am deserving of the title “s**t.”
“He told me that if I don’t stay in line then the “truth” (he used actual air quotes when he said this) would trickle through our group of friends. I don’t really have close family; these friends are all I have.”
As a result, the pregnant woman has come to a conclusion – that she “cannot be with him”.
I won’t say that I have been the perfect wife, I cheated, but honestly at that point I was seeking any type of intimacy that I could get
Reddit user
She explained: “I cannot live in this house with him and raise my child.
“I am nearly four months pregnant and know that this means I will be tethered to him in some form for the rest of my life but I can’t stay with him in a marriage.
“I truly believe that leaving is the best course of action for my baby and me.
“He told me that if I leave, he would tell all of our friends about this. That he won’t just let me leave with his child.
“That he has been telling enough people for months that everyone will believe him, I won’t have a defence. This terrifies me.”
Keen to receive advice from Reddit users, she asked: “Do I get in front of this now? I have no idea what to do.
“I want to be happy, and safe, but I don’t know how to do that with everything that is going on?
“I mean, can I trust that my friends will believe me if I tell them first? Am I right to be a bit afraid of him at this point?”
REDDIT USERS REACT
Reddit users were left gobsmacked by the woman’s situation and many flocked to the comments to share messages of love and guidance.
Get out now and get in front of it ASAP. Let people know you’re leaving because of his lies and deceit
Reddit user
One person said: “Time to talk to a lawyer ASAP. He can spread all the rumours he wants but at some point people are going to wonder why he’s being the perpetual victim and doesn’t do anything about it.”
Another added: “You cannot stay in this marriage. I’m sorry.”
A third commented: “You really need to find a way to record him admitting his lies or get them on paper. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Leave once you have evidence.”
Whilst someone else advised: “Get out now and get in front of it ASAP. Let people know you’re leaving because of his lies and deceit. What a piece of **** he is. Wow.”
