DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T stop mumbling my sister-in-law’s name in my sleep and it’s causing me no end of aggro.
Years before meeting my wife, I did have a fling with her sister. Amazingly this hasn’t caused any issues between the three of us – until now.
Now my wife doesn’t trust me and it’s starting to impact our relationship.
It’s ironic as I am happily married but my wife doesn’t believe me. I’m 39, my wife is 35 and we’ve been together for eight years. We have two daughters.
My sister-in-law and I met through mutual friends and only slept together twice after drunken nights out.
I hadn’t seen her since until my wife introduced me to her family. I had no clue they were related so it was quite a shock.
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I came clean to my wife instantly, and while it was hard for her to process at first she came to terms with it pretty quickly. Everything had been great between us since and I’d even developed a good relationship with her sister. It was almost as if it had never happened.
Then a couple of months ago my wife woke me up after she’d heard me saying her sister’s name in my sleep.
I couldn’t understand why it had happened. I didn’t even think of her sister in that way anymore.
Ever since it’s been a recurring problem and no matter what I do I can’t seem to stop.
It’s really starting to cause us issues and while I’ve tried my hardest to reassure my wife, I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t put a strain on our marriage.
How do I solve this?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable that this is causing issues in your relationship. It can’t be easy for your wife to constantly hear you say her sister’s name in your sleep.
However, it’s important you both remind yourselves that dreams aren’t reality and they only become meaningful if you choose to take them more seriously.
It could even be that you’re thinking about not saying her sister’s name so much that it’s on your mind before you go to sleep.
What matters the most is that you and your wife love each other and are happy in your marriage.
Pick a moment to talk to her and reassure her that you don’t have any attraction to her sister in any way. Hopefully, some open communication will put her mind at ease.
